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Saturday, November 27, 2004 I'm back. Hey, Mase was gone five years, I've only been gone six months. Mase's return shook up all the Mase-imitators out there, all those who imitated his muttering, too-cool-to-rap style. I thought Fabolous, to name just one, would have to get out the game. But Fabolous came back strong with "Breathe," so anything could happen. I look forward to a bright future where rappers get over their initial phase, with all the bragging and boasting-- not that I pooh-pooh that, I understand as well as anyone that when you've been living in a ghetto, unable to afford anything, overlooked by all the decent women, the first thing you do when you get OUT is brag and boast about how much you've got, how attractive women find you now, etc etc. It's natural. But it's also natural to sing the blues, tell the world your life also sucks sometimes, thereby touch anyone out there who might be feeling the same way. Pam plucked me out of my ghetto existence. She basically popped the roof off my little Kensington Market apartment, reached in, and pulled me out (legs wiggling). Then installed me in a bourgeois neighbourhood, sat me at a desk, staring at a computer, built a house around me while I typed and pulled out my hair and sought le mot juste and swilled crappy wine. To continue the conceit, extracted sperm, popped out three little monst...I mean angels, of course they're angels. They can be both "Heaven and hell in a diaper," as Martin Amis says. They're...monstangels... I love in movies when the character ***interruption*** Speaking of rappers, on the radio Jay-Z just began a song with "This is a classic. Just add this one to the rest of 'em." I could use a little of that kind of chutzpah.... It sucks, by the way... Oh, and Mase is on it. Also Kanye West, of whom I am heartily sick. Hey: recommendation. Speaking of rap, also: Hard to get, though: "Bang Bang" by Kardinal Offishall, off the "Kill Bloodclot Bill" mixed tape. What a track. And I don't even like Kardy. anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah, love it when a character, esp. Ben Stiller, is in a situation so horrible and hellish he just mutters "Oh...my...God..." I have a lot of those moments w/the kids. Anway, I'm not gonna talk about the kids. They munch up enough of my life. They already think it's about them enough. Now I have to talk about them in my blog, too? No fucking way. Back to the creation of my own classics. Classic essay on staying faithful to your wife. Gotta finish that this weekend. I think it is gonna be brilliant, I just have to be careful not to be too smug, too uxorious. Or should I just let that go. I feel v. uxorious (Oxford Universal: 1. dotingly or submissively fond of a wife; devotedly attached to a wife; 2. Of actions, etc.: Marked or characterized by excessive affection for one's wife). Hmmm, I just looked that up. Didn't realize it had such negative connotations. Is it a bad thing to be excessively fond of your wife? Most marriages, it seems to me, go the other way. If you can maintain excessive affection for your wife, won't that help you through the difficult times? Anyway, I am extremely fond of my wife. Oh, she can be crabby, and bossy, but those are just part of the glorious superwoman who is...Pam. "God sent her to save me and she saves me every day." That's how I feel. Anyway, I'd be crabby, and bossy-- if I were married to me. Uh...gotta get to work, finish this friggin essay which has been on my desk for weeks. But hello, Procrastinators of the World (and don't kid yourself, if you're reading this you're one of us). Welcome your Returning King. Actually, I'm not your King. Because I'm getting down to work now (and you're probably going to surf the Boulevard of Blown Loads a little more). I am merely your Crown Prince. Friday, November 26, 2004 This is a test of the emergency blogcast system Thursday, November 25, 2004 what's up yo haven't updated this in a while. testing that I cans till even do it. testing testing 123 testing testing testing blahhh! testing testing I'm gonna get this blog up and running again after a long hiatus. Wednesday, November 10, 2004 Testing testing testing, motherfuckers. Monday, November 08, 2004 now it's been a really long time since I've blogged. but I'm gonna return to it. had dinner last night with AJ Jacobs, author of "Mr. Know-it-all: One man's humble quest to become the smartest person in the world." by reading the encyclopedia cover to cover. then he interweaves his own story a bit. he and I connect on a few levels, I think, one being the "uxoriousness" that shines through in all his work. like mine. we love our wives. dinner was expensive. he offered to pick up the tab and I had to wrestle with the very darkness of my soul to turn him down and pay 1/2-- which was still, like, $180. Oh, what pain. that $180 was like a knife to the heart. but it was great to see them, though-- and I hope they become friends, over time. I'm going into hibernation. I've moved my phone away from my desk. I'll yak w/people on my cell. gotta write. D
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