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Monday, May 08, 2006 "My wallet's gone! My wallet's gone!" -- Morty Seinfeld. Just as there is no feeling worse than losing your wallet, there is no greater joy than getting it back again. It's better than sex! Though that statement is less true these days than it once was. When I lost my wallet yesterday (dropped it in the liquor store, retrieved it from the cops with $60 cash intact) I realized, all the information re: me is still pretty much in effect (minus the "hard copy" of $60). Financially, all I am is information in cyberspace. Money is information now. The whole transaction of me as writer is information: I e-mail articles, books, screenplays, etc. They print them up hard copy in magazine, book, celluloid (not yet) Then they send me a check, which by putting in the bank I turn back into pure digital information, every once in a while I extract a little stack of hard copies. Thank god for hard copies that's all I say. Thank God humanity still likes hard copies. Without "hard copies" this entire process would be meaningless, pointless, and I would be shaking a can of pencils in the street, pretending to be blind. When the cop at 14 division was retrieving my wallet from their "locker system," I said "Boy, if my cash were still in there that would really restore my faith in humanity." "Don't let it," he said drily. "Yeah, that's right, isn't it? You guys sort of deal with humanity gone wrong." No answer (what answer could he make besides "Yeah-- duh! Ya think, there, Einstein?" I don't even want to think about the scenes he's burst in upon. Big, brutish men doing horrible things to...I don't want to think about it. I got my wallet and got the hell out of there.) Little footnote: I was most depressed about the $60. I didn't give a crap about the other bumf in my wallet. I was like, "Oh, no, I can ill afford to lose even $60, yadda yadda yadda," then after I got my wallet back, that sixty was gone in under two hours. $20 to Pam; $20 in video late rental fees (down from $40 from a merciful clerk); $20 in fresh rentals... Yes. I rent a lot of movies these days. You have to. Study the medium...like an alligator, submerged except for the eyes, observes the movements of a thirsty antelope lapping up water at river's edge, so I study movies. One day I will pounce, in a flurry of bubbles and churning water which will soon turn red as the antelope struggles against my gnashing teeth. (In this metaphor I am the alligator and the film industry is the antelope). When I strike they won't know what hit them!
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